Who Am I?

I don't know who I am anymore.  I came into college as a kid with morals, with standards, with past relationships and the hopes to have a decent college experience.  However, my primary focus was class, grades and the degree that was a key to wealth.  

I look at myself now, I can barely even recognize myself.  I feel lost, confused and I have no idea of the direction in which I want to go.  

For example, I just ran around my residence hall to see if I could find someone to go to a local bar with me so I could meet up with some of my upperclassmen friends involved in student government.  Honestly, would I sell my morals for popularity, for the opportunity to become someone in my new school when I started the year?  Would I have run around on a school night asking for a bar buddy?  I know I wouldn't, not in September.  But September has come and gone.  

I thought I was going to be strong coming into this.  No matter what other people did I would dance to my own rhythm.  After all, college for me was necessary for a high paying job.  But something changed.  I got caught up in the vanity of popularity.  I got caught up in the late nights, the flirtation with hot girls and the promiscuous activities and appearances that were necessary to be "popular."  I am not sure if I want to continue down this path.  I feel that while I have forged some relations with popular kids who can take me places or back me in an election, I also feel that I have deserted and left behind the friends I grew so close to the first semester.  I feel like I have lost the friends I truely cared about.  I feel alone.  

((Sorry it has been so long since I posted last, I will try to update more reguarly.)