False Friends

I continue to feel so alone. I am sitting in this grand lounge in my residence hall, the only noise the soft hum of the lights and air conditioner. Classes are done, I just have one paper and four finalsbetween me and my summer. Well... That and 3000 miles. But what is the difference. In a little more than a week I will be back home, back to all the comforts and privacy I grew up with.

I really want to get home, despite knowing there are few real friends back home. But as I sit and think now, there really aren't that many friends here either. I mean, there are people I eat dinner with and go party with... But really? How many of them am I going to truely miss?

My life is full of aquantances, that is what makes me the most sad. I am even cynical enough to say that they have friended me to abuse my friendliness or generisity or power. I want friends, I really do. I just don't know how to make any real ones or if it is even possible.

Will leaving to go back home after my first tear at college be hard? Absolutely. I have had some great times, but in all honesty that was because I was somebody... I had a position of power. I will miss the power, the perks and most of all making lots of people happy. Yes, I will do some missing... I am just not sure if I will be missing many people.